Friday, August 15, 2014

How To Really Be A Self-absorbed A**hole

[Note: I know lots of "defective" - at least in my opinion - human beings who always serve to raise my regard for the "lower" animals we share this planet with. This post was inspired by a couple of such pains in my ass who are acquaintances which circumstances force me to spend more time with than I really care to.]

1) Stop listening altogether to your fellow humans. (What the hell do they know, anyway?)
2) Stifle - and if possible, totally obliterate - your sense of empathy.
3) Recognize all your opinions as matters of fact.
4) Never bother with trivialities such as decorum and civility.
5) If possible, interrupt or talk-over anyone who even appears to be disagreeing with you.
6) Never waste time trying to expand your thinking or revise you ideas, because, after all, you have all the answer to begin with and an admission of being less than always totally correct is a sign of weakness.
7) Always find time to criticize someone - if possible, in the presence of a crowd.
8) Constantly work at improving your powers of insult and catalog of put-downs.
9) Smile a lot as you perform; it reinforces your lofty position above everyone else.
10) Commit yourself to forever going deeper with your narcissism.

There, that should serve as a start.

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