My life has been quite complicated lately, necessitating some time away
from my blog. I've missed blogging and interacting with my cyber friends, but
sometimes life takes some twists and turns.
I've just had another one of those uncanny thing happen to me. Back in my
Christian days I would have called it an answer to my prayers. Maybe I still
think of it that way in a sense. I've rethought the whole prayer matter and
can't take seriously the idea of attempting to cajole the Almighty into acting
in a certain way. Yet I find some meaning in prayer as an expression of the
deepest longings of the heart. (My ideas about the Almighty have undergone an
even more radical reappraisal in recent years and are not at all orthodox or
even ordinary.)
For the second time in this year my life has been touched by a surprising
good fortune that I have longed for but had little reason to think would
actually come about. As I've looked back over the years of my life I recall lots
of little ways that things have seemingly "fallen into place." Some weren't
little ways, but were rather stunning. Most people I've talked with
have experienced the same thing.
No wonder so many of us think of higher powers, guiding forces, Karma,
destiny, fate, or any number of ways to make sense of it all. And for those who
don't believe in nuthin' there is always that old standby, coincidence. But
sometimes it seems the "mere" coincidences can pile up in such a way as to make
it a less than fully satisfying solution. Or maybe not. As I observed before,
worldviews can be extremely personal.
Life fascinates me. My own and the lives of others. It seems that with a
little digging anyone's life can be found full of little (and big!)
synchronicities (or "mere" coincidences) that not only add flavor but a real
sense of wonder.
If my life ended today it still would have been a life that seemed
meaningful, perhaps even guided. I have always sensed a WAY that, when deviated
from, always complicated things for me. I've interpreted that WAY variously down
through the years, and of course at first within the culture I was reared in
(but the inquiring mind always looks ever further). Becoming rich or famous were
never priorities of mine. I always wanted just to find my niche, and then be the
best Doug I could be.
I have yet one more unfulfilled wish that I would like to see come to pass.
It's very personal and I won't mention it just now. If that comes about my life
will have come full circle and I will finally be at peace (at least as much at
peace as one can be in this tumultuous world of ours). And deep down I feel that
"prayer" will be answered one day. That feeling is so intense I'm tempted to say
I know it will come to pass in due time. In the meantime I wait and
anxiously long for the desire of my heart. It remains to be seen how the order I
seek will arise from the present disorder of life. My former religion had a
phrase I always found interesting: "faith is the substance of things hoped for,
the evidence of things not seen."
I hope your prayer(s) are "answered." Whatever one thinks of religion, I do know this: FAITH is important. People without faith in something seem to be miserable...many times. It takes a certain courage to have faith.
ReplyDeleteThis is odd. A dear one from my past and I had lost contact altogether. I kept thinking of her, very hard. I wanted a chance to talk to her again. I was unexpectedly given that opportunity. I feel my prayers are answered more often than not. (Of course I try not to wish flippantly.)
ReplyDelete