Wow! How is it been that long since I've posted something here?
There's another book I've been eyeing at Amazon.com. It is The Tradition of Household Spirits: Ancestral Lore and Practices, by Claude Lecouteux. Looks like something I would really enjoy. And one of the editorial
reviews is quoted (by Brian Walsh, for SpiralNature.com) as saying:
In the end Lecouteux makes the point that as modern families
give up their attachment to place, they are also losing powerful ethereal
presences that energize not only buildings but also generations of
people.
For some reason, and for some time now, I have been dreaming of my
childhood homes. There were really only two. The apartment my parents lived in
at my birth was soon given up due to lack of space. That was when I was a year
old. Of course I have zero memories of that place.
They then rented a two bedroom home which we lived in from 1961 until
spring of '67. Then my folks bought their first and only home. Unfortunately my
parents divorced in 1971. But that house was in the family until my Mom married
her last husband (who died several years back) and sold out.
I've been compelled to go back and drive by those two houses (within a few
miles of each other) a couple of times in recent years. In fact, I recently
downloaded pictures of the houses that I found through Google.
I did all that because something about my past, my childhood homes, the
memories of what once was, keeps beckoning to me. The recurring dreams began
before I revisited. And these dreams are so vivid that I recall details about
the interior of the homes that I wasn't aware I remembered. I'm quite sure I
could walk blindfolded through either house - unless the interiors have been
changed.
So now I often find myself sitting and staring at the pictures of my
childhood homes as the memories come flooding back. Why do I have this
psychological need to do this? Why does my sleeping mind keep digging up these
long forgotten memories? And it isn't a painful thing at all. Not really.
Maybe bittersweet is the best way of putting it.
A Dr. Seuss quote keeps pounding in my mind: "Don't cry because it's over,
smile because it happened." And I do. And I know that somehow, so much of the
man I am today goes back to the boy who was nurtured over the years in those two
houses, which were once my beloved home.
Very interesting Doug, and as I get older I'm sure I'll need the quote "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
ReplyDeleteI have had some similar feelings. First, when my 90 year old mum was in her last years and in a nursing home. I used to visit often, and sometimes too her out for a drive. To try to help her fading memory, I would drive back to our family home for decades, but in the end it became too sad for her and i stopped.
Then I started doing family history, collecting old photos and certificates and tracing ancestors, and again I felt nostalgic.
Thanks for sharing this.
Funny thing, unkleE, I've live in current home for nearly nineteen years - most of that time, as for the last decade or so, alone - and while I do love my home and enjoy the solitude and comfort I find here, in no way does it compare to my childhood homes which were shared with my family. I am very nostalgic about my family and my childhood.
DeleteIf it isn't painful, as you say, just enjoy the journey. :-) Maybe the dreams are to encourage you in your own nurturing of your self.
ReplyDeleteI am totally amazed at the memories that have returned to me in my dreams. Even sitting looking at the pictures of the houses reminds me of so many things. Maybe we all have in our minds shelf after shelf of memories that grow dim from non-visitation. I've heard it said that we never really forget anything. I don't know about that, but I do know I had "forgotten" more of my childhood than what I realized. Glad to be getting it back.
DeleteIt may be that it's all held in the brain and so it is stored there safely. Getting to it, now that's another matter. :-)
DeleteI have to say I'm really intrigued by the holographic memory theory.
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